dating a bodybuilder

5 Hilarious Reasons You Should Avoid Dating a Bodybuilder

The majority of men start bodybuilding to achieve their ideal physique. Most of them already have a general idea of what they want to look like, and a few select ones are persistent enough and are willing to do whatever it takes to turn their goal into reality. Some even become entirely obsessed and start distancing themselves from family and friends, letting their romantic relationships fade away with the sole purpose of the trying to achieve the image they desperately strive to develop.

Even though there are some men who are so obsessed with getting an ideal physique that they totally become isolated from the outside world and forming and maintaining healthy relationships, there are just as many, if not more who strive to achieve shredded physiques just to become more successful at attracting women.

Dating a bodybuilder, should you go for it ?

We should note beforehand that this article is not meant to be inspirational. It’s only meant for those who have considered dating a bodybuilder and wants to know firsthand what they’re getting themselves into.

What is it like dating a bodybuilder? Without any further ado, here are the top 5 reasons you shouldn’t date bodybuilders.

1. The gym always comes firsthand

Well, let’s start with the most obvious reason. Dedicated bodybuilders regard the gym as some kind of a temple that they must frequently and regularly visit for a long time to appease the gods of iron. This might work out fine for a man who is single, however, when one’s in a relationship, it might prove extremely hard to find a girl who will be willing to be put in second place to the gym. And if you always prioritize going to the gym and not paying attention to her at all, pretty soon the only place you’ll pay attention to will be the gym.

Women have needs, and very often these needs can be entirely opposite of the needs that you have, like spending 4 hours in the gym every single day. We are talking about trips to shopping malls, having lunches at fancy restaurants with her alone, or with her friends who don’t give a damn about lifting, listening to their boring stories or having to attended social gatherings where you’ll be forced to drink alcohol, lest you be called a “party breaker”.

Dedicated bodybuilders find this terrible on many levels: they subconsciously start resenting their girlfriend for forcing him to skip his workouts, partake in dinners filled with all kinds of junk food and generally making him feel bored all the time he’s with her. Most of the time, this is not her fault, of course. However, if a guy wants to be in a loving relationship, he must learn how to make time for his girl. Otherwise, he’ll become jacked, but end up lonely and not having anyone to admire his hard-earned muscles.

2. Their whole day revolves around their meals

You read that right, bodybuilders have their whole days planned out according to what and when they’re going to eat, without counting time spent in the gym. So, if you’re a girl planning a trip with your bodybuilder boyfriend, prepare yourself to be bombarded with lots of questions about what and where you’re planning to eat.

This can be especially nerve-racking when you plan on doing things that don’t involve eating huge amounts of food but take quite a lot of time. Such as going to the movies, and while you’re enjoying the movie, you look over and see your boyfriend munching away on the enormous sandwich he smuggled inside. And just picture the embarrassment you’ll feel when people start looking with disgust at the pig you have brought along with you and yet hardly anyone will have the courage to tell him to stop.

It’s not just the fact that you’ll have to watch him stuff his face with all kinds of food at inappropriate places that will piss you off. It’s also the fact that you must let him do it unless you want him to become angry and irritable, which will completely ruin the date. He’ll either eat huge amounts of food every couple of hours, or he’ll go into a berserk-like rage and quite possibly make a scene. In these kinds of situations, it’s always a good idea to already have a meal prepared just in case he gets hungry in the middle of the date.

3. The protein f*rts

This “phenomenon” is the side effect that inevitably appears due to constant eating. If your boyfriend is a bodybuilder, you can be sure he has already figured out a way to make these silent, yet deadly. All the protein he eats, especially the one that comes from eggs, tends to cause an obnoxious build-up of foul-smelling gases which must be expelled as soon as possible unless you want you boyfriend to explode by some type of internal combustion. Just kidding!

The flatulence is particularly irritating when it happens all of a sudden during extremely inappropriate times, like in the middle of a dinner in a fancy restaurant, or while attending some art exhibition. These “happenings” will become a regular part of your date, so you might as well get used to them. At night, when you’re sleeping in your cozy bed, and it gets a bit chilly, you want to throw the cover over your head, and you find out the gasses have completely filled the space under the cover and you’ve actually kind of put yourself into a gas chamber.

4. You’ll become a human dumbbell

A human dumbbell? What does this mean? If you haven’t dated a bodybuilder before, there’s no way you could know, but if you did you know exactly what we are talking about. When you’re dating a bodybuilder, especially someone who’s really strong and muscular, it’s just a matter of time before they suddenly start picking you up and carrying you around like a little dumbbell. Let’s not go into detail about what would happen if they also watched professional wrestling, God forbid sumo wrestling.

Some people may find this silly and amusing, but the feeling of excitement quickly fades away. When they start throwing you around like you’re a bag of potatoes and slam on you your bed, you’ll want to have a talk with them to take it down a notch.

They can carry on with this kind of behavior into your bedroom as well. We aren’t just talking about the wrestling part; it’s the unnecessary “feats” of strength they display that are the problem. The majority of girls most probably do not want to be thrown around their bedroom like a little toy. Some foreplay is good, but everything has its limits.

Public displays of “affection” of this kind can also be pretty embarrassing, like when they pick you up in public. Does it look like joking around when you suddenly pick up your girl in a bar and make a wrestling move on her? Note to guys who are reading this: when you’re trying to pick up a girl at a bar, don’t literally “pick her up”. It won’t impress her!

5. Making love turns into a difficult task

You read that right, one of the greatest cons of dating a bodybuilder is the love making act. We’re not saying that there’s anything bad with s*x just because he is strong and muscular. Lots of incredibly muscular and strong men are happily married with a healthy love life. But, there are lots of guys out there, who have increased their size incredibly fast and still haven’t gotten used to their new body, so to speak, which means they still don’t know how to properly control their movements, which makes it very awkward while making love.

Imagine for a moment that you’re dating Bruce Banner. He seems like a nice guy, everything is going fine, you start falling in love with him and you let him share a night of passion with you. When you first start dating he’s caring, sensitive lover, and you decide to start a relationship. Then, all of a sudden, he starts to transform into the Incredible Hulk, and if you thought that’s going to make the love life incredible as well, all your expectations are quickly shattered.

You should expect a lot of hard squeezing, touching, painful coitus and lots of pose switching. Then again, you think to yourself, could I have expected anything different, considering the way he looks? And it’s not just the way his huge hulking size makes the love act awkward and feel like a wrestling match.

There’s also the problem of the girl not being used to having s*x with such a monstrous frame. A girl who’s having making love with someone like that for the first time might feel pressured to act rougher than usual. Like when she’s forced to use a lot more force to please him because of the slabs of muscle. That might not be true, but it will make him believe that that’s the type of making love she likes.

And here’s the end of our list. Those were just 5 reasons why dating a bodybuilder is a no no, but believe us, there are a lot more. But it’s worth noting that just because some guy is a bodybuilder doesn’t mean he hasn’t got the potential to be a great boyfriend. You just have to make sure that you share a similar lifestyle before you start dating.

In the end, dating a bodybuilder is doomed to fail if all he likes is going to the gym and  all you like is watching TV and relaxing on the couch. Compromise is more easily achieved if your interests have a greater overlap. So make sure to test him out first before starting a long-term relationship.

You might also like : 5 Reasons Why Your Bodybuilder Boyfriend Dumped You, Take Notes Ladies


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