5 Hilarious Reasons You Should Never Date A Bodybuilder

3. The protein farts

This “phenomenon” is the side effect that inevitably appears due to constant eating. If your boyfriend is a bodybuilder, you can be sure he has already figured out a way to make these silent, yet deadly. All the protein he eats, especially the one that comes from eggs, tends to cause an obnoxious build-up of foul-smelling gases which must be expelled as soon as possible unless you want you boyfriend to explode by some type of internal combustion. Just kidding!

The flatulence is particularly irritating when it happens all of a sudden during extremely inappropriate times, like in the middle of a dinner in a fancy restaurant, or while attending some art exhibition. These “happenings” will become a regular part of your date, so you might as well get used to them. At night, when you’re sleeping in your cozy bed, and it gets a bit chilly, you want to throw the cover over your head, and you find out the farts have completely filled the space under the cover and you’ve actually kind of put yourself into a gas chamber.

4. You’ll become a human dumbbell

A human dumbbell? What does this mean? If you haven’t dated a bodybuilder before, there’s no way you could know, but if you did you know exactly what we are talking about. When you’re dating a bodybuilder, especially someone who’s really strong and muscular, it’s just a matter of time before they suddenly start picking you up and carrying you around like a little dumbbell. Let’s not go into detail about what would happen if they also watched professional wrestling, God forbid sumo wrestling.

Some people may find this silly and amusing, but the feeling of excitement quickly fades away. When they start throwing you around like you’re a bag of potatoes and slam on you your bed, you’ll want to have a talk with them to take it down a notch.

They can carry on with this kind of behavior into your bedroom as well. We aren’t just talking about the wrestling part; it’s the unnecessary “feats” of strength they display that are the problem. The majority of girls most probably do not want to be thrown around their bedroom like a little toy. Some foreplay is good, but everything has its limits.

Public displays of “affection” of this kind can also be pretty embarrassing, like when they pick you up in public. Does it look like joking around when you suddenly pick up your girl in a bar and make a wrestling move on her? Note to guys who are reading this: when you’re trying to pick up a girl at a bar, don’t literally “pick her up”. It won’t impress her!

5. Sex turns into a difficult task

You read that right, one of the greatest cons of dating a bodybuilder is the sex. We’re not saying that there’s anything bad with sex just because he is strong and muscular. Lots of incredibly muscular and strong men are happily married with a healthy sex life. But, there are lots of guys out there, who have increased their size incredibly fast and still haven’t gotten used to their new body, so to speak, which means they still don’t know how to properly control their movements, which makes it very awkward during sex.

Imagine for a moment that you’re dating Bruce Banner. He seems like a nice guy, everything is going fine, you start falling in love with him and you let him share a night of passion with you. When you first start dating he’s caring, sensitive lover, and you decide to start a relationship. Then, all of a sudden, he starts to transform into the Incredible Hulk, and if you thought that’s going to make the sex incredible as well, all your expectations are quickly shattered.

You should expect a lot of hard squeezing, touching, painful coitus and lots of pose switching. Then again, you think to yourself, could I have expected anything different, considering the way he looks? And it’s not just the way his huge hulking size makes the sex awkward and feel like a wrestling match. There’s also the problem of the girl not being used to having sex with such a monstrous frame. A girl who’s having sex with someone like that for the first time might feel pressured to act rougher than usual. Like when she’s forced to use a lot more force to please him because of the slabs of muscle. That might not be true, but it will make him believe that that’s the type of sex she likes.

And here’s the end of our list. Those were just 5 reasons why you shouldn’t date a bodybuilder, but believe us, there are a lot more. But it’s worth noting that just because some guy is a bodybuilder doesn’t mean he hasn’t got the potential to be a great boyfriend. You just have to make sure that you share a similar lifestyle before you start dating. In the end, the relationship won’t have any chance of succeeding if all he wants is going to the gym and you watching TV and relaxing on the couch. Compromise is more easily achieved if your interests have a greater overlap. So make sure to test him out first before starting a long-term relationship.

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