If you are a regular at the gym, it’s most likely that you’ve already met some of the most annoying and/or disgusting members of the human species there, be it the fat guy who constantly breaks wind on the stationary bike, the slob who never re-racks his weights after the workout, the elderly man who never wipes off the equipment he’s been using, leaving small ponds of sweat everywhere around him.
Being constantly pissed off from similar situations, i finally made this list of the most common awful experiences at the gym that i’m sure any average gym-goer can relate to. I hope you won’t find a description of your own behavior, but if you do, give it some thought at the very least!
1. The inarticulate grunting syndrome
Do these guys really think that doing those extremely loud guttural sounds actually convince the rest of us that they are lifting so hard that we should immediately stop our own business and focus on the newly born feelings of pure admiration? Most of the times, it’s just some undernourished non-lifter wanting to gather attention with his demonic grunting that distracts your focus from your own set. Definitely the worst strategy for earning other peoples’ respect.
2. The never-ending ocean of sweat
I’ve come to the conclusion that some people intentionally leave lakes of their own sweat around for others to enjoy. It must be a fetish of some sort. How else would you explain having to constantly clean the equipment from someone’s toxic waste before using it? And still, that yuck feeling never goes away. And how is it even possible for a person to excrete that much bodily fluid without dying?
3. The horrific combination of old men and public gym locker rooms
The terrorizing pig-like behavior of some old people has no limits, that i can assure you. Free of all shame, they can and will push their floppy and filthy body parts far into your personal space. You can find them trying to dry their naked bodies under the hand dryer, splashing nose juice everywhere, farting right under your face or even defecating in the middle of the shower floor. They just don’t give a damn. No further explanation needed.
4. The stalker guy
It’s a fact that every gym has a creepy-looking dude that just sits around and follows your workout. You soon realize that he’s not doing much else in the gym. It often seems like he’s about to make contact with you, but that moment never comes and he keeps on staring at you in a very annoying manner, even after you give him your best look of immediate danger. What kind of a kick does he get from visiting the gym, one will never find out.
5. The crappy radio station
One thing you’re sure to find in a public gym is terrible music on the radio. For some unknown reason, it seems like a lot of people like to work out with the sound of folk music or some swingy tunes, or all kinds of music that doesn’t go well with heavy lifting, for example. Of course, you can always put your headphones on and have your choice met, but then some asshole will come in and turn the radio up so loud that you can’t hear your own thoughts anymore, let alone the headphones.