There has been an image circulating on social media lately showing a picture of Dana Linn Bailey next to a picture of an obese woman with the caption “Why is it ok to call DLB gross but the obese woman is a free choice and a crime and bullying to call gross?” Is muscle shaming ok ?
This got me thinking. Why is it ok to shame someone who has worked hard for his or her body, but shaming someone who is obese is considered heinous behaviour?
Is muscle shaming the new fat shaming ?
For me, walking down the street wearing a vest gets me numerous stares and many comments said with the intent of me hearing them. Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind the stares, I’m used to it. If I minded I would probably attempt to cover up. But I worked hard to get arms and shoulders like I have, so why wouldn’t I want to show them off?
I’m proud of my body. But does this make it ok for people to comment on the way I look so vocally in public? I don’t think so. Where are people’s social boundaries? Would those same people make a comment out loud towards an obese person? No, I’m guessing not.
People who will stare and then giggle and whisper to their friend
Add to that the people who will stare and then giggle and whisper to their friend something about me. Do people really think that I won’t notice? I may have muscles but I’m not stupid. And I do have feelings.
The one that always gets me is when people will come up to me and without any warning will squeeze my bicep and shout “Wow, you must work out!”. Would they walk up to an obese person, squeeze their arm and state, “Wow, you must eat a lot!”? No. Pretty sure this would result in some kind of lawsuit.
But for someone to do that to a highly muscled person, and I’m talking both male and female, is somehow ok. Go figure.
The amount of comments like “You’ve gone too far”, “That’s gross”, “You look like a man” etc that I’ve seen, not just on my pictures but on my fellow athletes pictures is insane.
What makes someone think it is ok to criticise another human being so openly? And I know there will be some people who will say that by posting a picture we are opening ourselves up for criticism, which may be true, but there really is no need to be hurtful and nasty.
I’m pretty sure that an obese person posting a selfie doesn’t get the same hate that a fit person does.
I’m pretty sure that an obese person posting a selfie doesn’t get the same hate that a fit person does. People don’t have the nerve to ridicule a fat person via the internet because it’s classed as “wrong” but it seems to be fine to ridicule someone with muscles.
This still baffles me. So whose fault is this? Is it a result of society saying being muscular is not ok, but being obese is? Or is it the individual who just has no idea of how to act in a social setting? Maybe it’s because these days sadly we see more obese people than we do fit people?
Maybe fit muscular people, especially women, make “normal” people feel uncomfortable. Maybe these people are intimidated by strong looking females and so, in an effort to make them feel better about themselves, they feel the need for muscle shaming and to put us down. Who knows?
In my opinion, it comes down to the individual having a lack of respect or tact, or both. Either way, it’s not ok. The result of my hard work and sacrifices should not be subject to your ridicule or a source of entertainment for you and your friends. Have some respect, or if you can’t manage that, at least have some subtlety. SMH.
Source: cutandjacked.com
Written by: Su Farrell
I always have a great deal of respect for a woman who has muscle. When I see a fit woman physical attraction is only part of it. A healthy body shows dedication, commitment and so much more.
“The amount of comments like “You’ve gone too far”, “That’s gross”, “You look like a man” etc that I’ve seen, not just on my pictures but on my fellow athletes pictures is insane.” And all based in insecurity. What do you think the commenter hiding safely behind the anonymity of the internet looks like? It doesn’t matter, because clearly they aren’t happy with it. That insecurity leads to them lashing out. Whether they are lashing out at you because of your strength and obvious self-confidence or fat person who posted a selfie in a show of self-confidence, they are sadly insecure individuals. There is no difference between fit-shaming and fat-shaming when it’s delivered by a internet troll. The difference is when it’s delivered by someone who thinks they aren’t fit-shaming. In the example above where people squeeze your bicep, they think they are complimenting you, so no harm right? There’s this perception that, hey you work your a*s off for those muscles, you’re proud of them, you should be happy someone wants to take notice. They don’t realize that it’s still a violation and could make a person feel self-conscious about their physique, even if they have worked their a*s off for it.
Wow this post is delusional. I’m obese and I work out hard. My best friend is a UK size 8 super fit person. We became friends at the gym, and we work out together. We track each other’s progress and we cook for each other and our friendship works because we have the same focus to be the best we can be for ourselves. We both receive a number of hateful comments because of our sizes.
If by highlighting fit-shaming you think fat-shaming doesn’t occur, it definitely does and in more ways that you’ve highlighted here. By Highlighting fit-shaming, you’ve opened up the flood gates for people to fat-shame, when both are wrong in my own opinion. There needs to be far more respect for people as individuals, it’s not just about the perfect Instagram selfie or workout video, we’re dealing with real people here who have to put up with asshole comments and it’s writing like yours that legitimises them.
Peanut, this post is written by the lady in the pics actually. You are correct that both are wrong, but have you seen how there are campaigns that if you are overweight you need to love yourself, but for some reason bodybuilders and weightlifters are still treated as “meatheads” and “dumb” ?
Fat people are attacked all the time !! We discriminate in our minds immediately! We link obesity to disease and low self-esteem. This writing is bull.
I’m happy to confirm that even as a guy (trained for over a decade and very muscular), this does happen and is very annoying. Anything from being told to eat a burger/pizza/ice-cream/whatever, to criticising my choice of food and drink when I’m out with friends and random people telling me to lose weight. And keep in mind this is just what people tell me to my face, a lot of people are more than happily judging me for being in good shape with little fat but are too afraid that I’ll hurt them if they say anything! And this is especially true of women, who will negative judge any man with a 6 pack before he even opens his mouth.
However why this happens is actual quite simple. Both fit and fat shaming is because societies work by creating a normal/middle ground which everyone has to aspire to. The second you begin to move outside of this area, you become an outsider and it is the job of society to bring you back into line so that everyone can be “normal”. Be you too poor, too rich, too stupid, too smart, too fit or too fat. Shaming is simply the weapon that society uses as a whole to bring people back towards the “normal” point.
I say, who gives a damn what they say. If I wanted to have the body society approves of and that women would drool over, I would have a dadbod! I’m proud of my achievements and coming from childhood obesity, I can truly say that I would choose being fit over being fat any day of the week!
Because of systematic oppression.